Retired.

I was the millennial I never thought I would be: the one who was unemployed and living back at home with their parents while frantically searching nationwide for a job. 

Though it was a trying and extremely exhausting time, I learned so much-- about myself, about current events, and about how idle time can be a blessing. 

My friend, Abby, was also in the same boat. She, ironically, lives a block away from myself and we trudged through that bizarre time together. We walked through the downtown shops, and we spent countless hours at the local coffee shop, sipping and chatting and discussing the difficult, yet oddly rewarding season of life we were in. 

There was a short time when I was extremely upset over the situation. I couldn't believe this was my life. I couldn't believe I was literally the lamest person who lived on my street. I couldn't believe all of this was happening (or not happening, really) to me. 

Finally, I decided to stop wallowing in my own self-pity and learn to enjoy the time I was given. 

I've began to refer to this time as "retirement."

I lived the same life as a retiree. I would wake up, start a pot of coffee, and turn The Today Show on. While my coffee brewed, I would go for a walk around my neighborhood. I dislike running-- so walking is totally my thing. I've walked the same square around my neighborhood for years, but it wasn't until recently that I started noticing the white shutters on houses or the squirrels that dart up trees as I come close. As I walked, I thought about what the weather was like here in western Oklahoma and then I'd think about the weather in Washington DC and if my cousin Blaine was enjoying his morning walk to work.

Most mornings, I would sit outside and read different types of books while I listen to Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons on the stereo. (That was the oldest thing I've said in a while.)  Books about cooking, books about love, books that I once dreaded reading in AP English, and, more recently, a thick biography about the former treasury secretary Alexander Hamilton. 

I would go to the store at 10 am when there was no one there except for myself and my other fellow retirees. I would take my time and walk down aisles that I have no reason to go down. (Like the power tools aisle at Walmart. Why walk down it? I have nothing to power tool. But, hey, if/when I have that need in the future, I will know exactly where to go.) I read the headlines on the tabloids and strike up conversations about weather as we wait in line to check out. 

So, really, I was retired.

Because who honestly talks about weather this much...?

You might think to yourself "WOW. What a life! I'd love to be retired at 24."

But then picture yourself at Walmart, at church, at the gas station when you run into a random person and they say "So, what are you doing these days?"

And your answer is "... I'm looking for a job." 

And they stare at you. 

And you stare back.

So you bring up the weather because it's all you know to do anymore. 

Luckily, Abby and I are both no longer living that retired life.

We trudged through that time, and finally made it to the other side of the trench: The life of employment!

It's everything I hoped and dreamed of.

I have coworkers, and a parking pass, and a computer, and sometimes, I still get to talk about the weather.

It is exactly what I wanted, and now I understand why I got turned down for all of the other jobs.

THIS was the one for me. The perfect job, in the perfect office, with perfect people, in the perfect place.

It just took several months to get here.

Which brings me to my point of this blog...

You have no idea what someone is going through on the job search.

They might be applying for jobs every single day, and interviewing all of the time, and revising their resume to the point of perfection, and doing everything in their power to find a job.... but still not getting a job. 

We appreciate your advice. And we are so glad you have an uncle that might be able to find us a job at that one place that I've never heard of. And we are truly grateful that you took the time to ask us about our lives. BUT, if we hear the words "The right job will come along! Just be patient!" one more time.... we literally might scream.

And no one wants to be the screaming girl on the bread aisle of the grocery store.

And I am proof that the right job WILL come along. I was patient, and after much time, it finally came. However, when you are in the process of a job search, you don't need anyone reminding you of the one thing you don't have: a job. 

So the next time you find yourself in the "What are you up to?" conversation, and the person responds with "... I'm looking for a job", be kind. Don't assume they are free-loading off their parents. Or are just using that as a cover up to perfect their video game skills. (Y'all, I was unemployed for a while and still don't know how to turn on a PlayStation... But I did have a nice sun tan!)

It's difficult to face the reality of being unemployed. It's exhausting to face the rejection of being turned down for jobs. I didn't also need to live in fear that some random person was going to judge my life each time I went to the grocery store. 

Life is hard. 

Finding a job is really hard.  

Being rejected for a job is really really hard.

So help make life a little easier for those around you who are living that "retired" life.
It's might not be what it looks like.

And it was worth it.