22.

22 is a weird age. 

It's that time in your life where, thanks to Taylor Swift, everyone asks if you're "feelin 22"? Anytime someone asks (or sings) this question, I never know what to say. 

I usually awkwardly say, "yeah..." 

And then I wonder what it really means to feel 22. I don't dress up like a hipster very often, and no one ever invites me dancing. But, one part of the song that I can totally identify with is the line that says "It's miserable and magical." 

It truly is miserable and magical. 

My friends are moving away and starting new lives. I rarely get to "do lunch" with people. And my brain won't let me sleep in past 9 am. Sonic happy hour knows me by name. I keep up with the Kardashian's better than my own life. My heart has been broken, and I've fallen in love. I think I cried more at age 22 than I did through out my entire high school career. I don't know what I want to be when I eventually grow up. And people constantly bug me about when I'll get married, and have kids, and buy a minivan. And I keep thinking... I'm only 22.

Because I'm turning 23 soon, and my "Taylor Swift-esque" year will soon come to an end, I decided to write a few things down about what 22 meant in my life. Here are 22 things that happened to me while I was 22. Some miserable, and some magical. That's what life is. 

1. Climbed Angels Landing.

Angel’s Landing is strenuous 5-mile uphill hike in Zion National Park. Not only are you walking upwards, at times, you use chains to help keep you on the 2 foot narrow path with a 1200 foot drop off on either side. I love to hike, and I'm thankful for great hiking adventures! This one is rated #8 in National Geographic's "Best Hikes" list.

2. Saw the Statue of Liberty

Good Ol’ Lady Liberty. They sure don’t want anything happening to her on that island. You go through more metal detectors and bag screenings than anywhere else in the world, I do believe. But, it is pretty cool to see her up close. She has big toes.

3. Graduated college. 

Indeed I did. I proudly call myself a SWOSU Alumni. And then I...

4. Began grad school.

Just when I thought my homework days were over, I got on board the grad school train. I’ve been typing papers non-stop since January.

5. Saw Les Miz on stage, thrice.

I’m not sure if you are aware, but I adore Broadway musicals. But my love for Les Miz takes the cake. There's something about seeing a musical live on stage that just gives me goosebumps and makes my show choir heart happy. If you ever need someone to accompany you to a musical, I’m your girl. 

6. Paddle boarded in the ocean.

On TV this looks magical. In real life, it’s really difficult and painful when you fall off and salt water is thrust up your nose. My advice? Paddle somewhere without waves. And without an audience laughing at each wobble and crash. I think my balance needs to improve drastically before I try this again.

7. Was an impromptu art teacher for 800 students for 2 months.

Oh the life of a teacher! “Can you teach art?” “Sure.” And there you have it. 800 students a week zipped through my door expecting to be wowed by my artistic ability. I learned a lot in these two months. Specifically, not to provide paint to Kindergartners without expecting a mess. I also learned I can draw a wide array of Disney characters with a dry-erase marker.

8. Zip lined down a mountain at Park City, UT.

The zip line was fun. However, the ride up was a blast. While on the ski lift up, Jake and Tanner found out the USA men’s soccer team had just lost to Belgium in the World Cup. They went into a grieving process, and it was quite hysterical.

9. Toured Yale University.

I was invited to tour Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut. Okay, not by any Yale Administrators but by my sweet cousin who is a student. What a blast it was to walk around the historical campus! I'm thankful for the opportunity to travel.

10. Attended a Bluegrass and BBQ festival.

Two things that I love very much: Bluegrass Music and Barbecue. It has become a tradition for my brother and I to travel to Branson, Missouri each year and partake in the festivities. The average age is 60, but Tanner and I enjoy every minute of this banjo-ridden music festival.

11. Skied down the face of a mountain.

I love to ski. But I’m more of a slow side-to-side skier. Sometimes people convince you to conquer your fear of steep slopes, and you ski the face.

12. Spent my New Years at a Starbucks in Durango, Colorado taking Myers-Briggs personality tests.

Long story short: Started the day with, eh, “car problems” and spent the morning at Starbs with my fellow Brown's finding out our personalities. If you've never taken a personality test, it's pretty intriguing. 

13. Said goodbye to my favorite weiney dog Cooper. 

    The chubby little love of my life! Cooper loved to swim, and accompanied me to the pool many days in August. As I cried about how things were going, he listened. And he was the only one who didn't try to fix my problems, and he kept my secrets very well. He kept my toes warm and he always ate the food I dropped. Cooper really taught me how to love dogs. I'm thankful for my days in August when I was "jobless" and sat by the pool most afternoons.. He always kept me company. And only he will know how many tears I cried. He kept my secrets and made me feel better. I love Cooper so much, and I'm so glad i got to hang out with him for three years. I'm so thankful for this chubby little buddy of mine.

14. Learned to eat at restaurants by myself.

Part of growing up is learning to be alone. Like going to the grocery store by yourself, and getting gas, and eating alone at restaurants. I've become quite fond of it. Last week I went to the mall alone and no one rushed me. Pure magic.

15. Saw the Grand Canyon.

My family took a short detour on our way home from Utah to see the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. Walking the path up to the Grand Canyon was filled with so much anticipation. You have seen pictures and videos, but nothing compares to coming to edge and looking over the vast greatness of the canyon. It was definitely much grander than I had expected. (Also, I'd like to go back soon to explore more if someone wants to plan a trip with me!)

16. Buried both of my great grandparents on consecutive Saturday's.

In February, my great-grandparents who had been married for 74 years passed away a week apart. It was hard on us to lose them so close together, but it was also a blessing that they went to heaven together. You can read more on that here and here. 

17. Walked through Central Park

    In the fall. In the rain. Wow. It was so lovely. It was so movie-like. I mean, "Don't you love New York in the fall?" (You've Got Mail, anyone??)

18. Sat at a hospital after Jake's appendix ruptured.

    Yes. Ruptured. Thank God he's okay. And he just finished his first year of law school. You don't realize how much you care for someone until they are laying in a hospital bed in pain. It's a weird experience, yet I learned a lot from it. You can read more on our crazy summer and his miraculous recovery here.

19. Had an unstoppable bloody nose in the M&M's store on Times Square. 

    Picture hundreds of people staring at you while you shove Kleenex after Kleenex up your nostril. Also, factor in that NYC is Eco-friendly and only has electric hand dryers, and no paper towels to clean yourself up with. It was a very unique experience. And quite awful. 

20. Read Bob Goff's Love Does. 

    "I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter.” 

A life changer. I highly recommend it. 

21. Parasailed over the ocean.

    The view was great, yet it also confirmed my ability to become sea sick very quickly. It was fun to be up above the ocean with a parachute strapped to my boyfriend and I. 

22. Cried in the theater as Bilbo Baggins returned back to the shire after his unexpected adventure.  

    The past 3 Decembers, Jake and I have gone to the movie theater to watch The Hobbit. This year was the last and final piece of the three-part movie. I'm not sure if I was just emotional that day but as the movie ended, I was openly weeping. In the book, J.R.R Tolkien says,“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” 

Sometimes our year doesn't go as we planned. I made many plans for myself that never happened. Many of the things on my list were unplanned adventures that I wasn't necessarily expecting to happen. 

They just... happened. 

Thank God for that. 

When I was younger, I thought life got easier. At each stage of life, I find that "easy" doesn't come naturally. We encounter obstacles, and have to find a way to overcome them. Sometimes, we can't overcome them. We just have to check them off the list as something that happened. Obstacles don't always have to be conquered, or figured out. I have to remind myself that not every problem has a successful solution, and not every situation has a powerful meaning. Lessons can certainly be learned from failed attempts. 

In his book, Bob Goff says, "Living a life fully engaged and full of whimsy and the kind of things that love does is something most people plan to do, but along the way they just kind of forget. Their dreams become one of those "we'll go there next time" deferrals. The sad thing is, for many there is no "next time" because passing on the chance to cross over is an overall attitude toward life rather than a single decision.” 

I think what I want you to take from this blog is not to wait for "next time." I like to think of myself as Bilbo Baggins. Had Bilbo declined Gandalf's offer for the adventure, think of all he would have missed and all of the people he wouldn't have met! Adventure is waiting, and I have to make a choice on whether or not I want to take it. "Next time" isn't always promised, so when opportunities arise, jump wholeheartedly into the line of fire. I'm ridding my vocabulary of "I'll do that next time," and replacing it with "I'll go. I'll do that." Imagine the possibilities that can unfold by simply saying "Sure."

One thing I have learned repeatedly in my 23 years on the earth is that you have to focus on the good things. I can't wake up everyday and look at what misery faces me when I get out of bed. I have to look at the positive things-- the magical parts of life. I know I will face many challenges and hardships in the years to come, but the sweeter times will far outweigh the sour. It's not a matter of seeing the glass half-empty or half-full, but recognizing that we have a glass at all! Blessings don't have to be the size of the Grand Canyon. Blessings can be as small as the glass we drink from.

And as I begin my year as a 23 year old, my cup is running over.