Heartache.

I know what it feels like.

It hurts.

Your heart. Your head. Your entire being aches.

Having your heartbroken is arguably the worst pain you can endure.

When someone passes away, they aren’t choosing to leave you. When someone breaks your heart, they made the decision to leave you for reasons that you will never understand.

So your mind begins to think.

And think.

And think.

 Thinking with a broken heart another terrible thing you can do, buy it’s inevitable. It’s dangerous, and in some cases, terrifying.  You think about what you possibly did wrong, what happened between the two of you that you could’ve changed, and finally, what they saw in you at this point in life that wasn’t worth fighting for anymore. You cling to Psalm 147:3. “The Lord heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” You pray that the Lord will restore the joy that was stripped from your heart. And just when you think you’ve finally found it, the scab is ripped off again, leaving you vulnerable once again. You are caught in this vicious cycle. It’s repetitive, and constant. You truly believe you will never get out of this rut.

Then, something clicks.

Something inside your head finally clicks, and says, “You can’t be this way anymore. You have to find happiness again.”

So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and attempt to get back to normalcy.

Normalcy. Ha.

Life can’t be normal. Or so you think. You’re correct—Life will never go back to the way it was, but who said that was normal anyways? You have to accept this new “normal” and make the most of it. You know why? Because this is what God orchestrated specifically for your life. This is what was supposed to happen, even if it does require some pain. Most of the time we don’t realize that a relationship is no longer glorifying God. I believe there is such a thing as two of His precious children having to separate because they have more potential serving Him separately than they do together. (I’m fully aware that was a terrible sentence. I had problems trying to convey what was on my heart…) The Lord never does anything to hurt us, but to make us better Christians that can serve Him whole-heartedly.

My best friend is going through a rough time with a relationship currently. The other day, another wall was built that she had to climb. I reminded her the Lord never did anything to try and break us. Her response was beautiful. “Oh, I know. He does it to grow and refine. But no one said the gold didn’t feel the fire. Just said it didn’t fear it.”

(You can applaud her… That was remarkable.)

She’s exactly right.

He doesn’t want anything to stand in the way of our worship. If something interferes, He will do whatever it takes to regain your full attention. Don’t try and fight it. He says to us in Isaiah 55:9, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” He loves you. More than anything! And your relationship with our Heavenly Father means so so so much more than any other relationship you will ever enter in to. I know that you “know” that in your head, but I want this to penetrate deep down in your heart of hearts and soak in.  I want you to KNOW 100% that you are loved by our Saviour King. You are worth fighting for.

No boy, no girl, NO ONE should ever make you doubt the Father’s love for you. (Nor should they make you doubt your self-worth—but that’s a blog post for another day.)

So, if there ever comes a time when you have been broken up with and are struggling, remember that there is something much better in store later on down the road that will be worth all the tears and heartache.

A writer for Destiny in Bloom magazine shared this in a post, and I want to share with you. 

“Precious gems don’t immediately come out looking like this,” he said, as he unwrapped her gem from the bag. He held it up to the sun, looking through it with a magnifying glass and carefully studying each angle. “You know, Annie,” he said, “they can only sparkle like this after they’ve been dug out of rock, polished, and tediously cut to allow light to shine through every angle of the stone.”

Yes. Yes. YES!

We can’t expect to be perfect. We can’t expect to be perfect. We have to endure pain, heartache and even make some life-altering decisions. That’s what makes us who we are. We also can’t trust someone else to “polish” us. If you are allowing a boy/girl/parent/friend to shape you into the person you will become, you are making a terrible mistake. Only the Lord can do that.

My advice: Love the Lord. Don’t seek out boyfriends/girlfriends for yourself. Put your trust in God. He will come through. In one of his books, Francis Chan writes, “You should be placing so much trust in God that if he doesn’t come through, you are screwed.” If you don’t rely fully on God, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Proverbs 3:5 says it best. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding..." Your own understanding isn't sufficient. You cannot see the big picture. Your own personal expectations will never be met without Christ’s sovereign power. If you are creating back-up plans or safety nets, think again. When you catch yourself doing this, it means you trust him, yes, but certainly not wholeheartedly. A football coach doesn’t want players on a team that shake their heads in agreement when he calls a play, but in their heads are thinking of ways they will be able to fix or recover if it doesn’t work our. A coach wants a team that, regardless of how crazy it might seem, shake their heads in agreement then get out there and give it 100% because that’s what they were told to do. God expects the same from us. As Christians, God is our “play caller.” If He calls a play, we need to listen and not develop a “just in case” plan. We have no need to formulate a plan, when there is absolutely no need for one. God always comes through, just in His timing.

I believe I’ve used this song before, but I never get tired of it.

Kristian Stanfill—“Always”

“Oh my God, He will not delay

 my refuge and strength always.

I will not fear. His promise is true.

My God will come through always.”

Keep that last line in your heart and on your mind constantly as you start this new year.